Down a little recently

April 6, 2007

I have not posted in a while.  Don’t know why. 

Moving up to 1500 mgs of Depakote ER didn’t work for me.  I think it wasn’t mixing well with the additional blood pressure meds they put me on.  I couldn’t get out of bed because I was so sleepy!

I was really down about the blood pressure issue for a couple of days,  but everything is looking up now except for the sex life.  

Still, life is better than it was four to six months ago. 

Fibroymyaliga is doing well.  I was a little stiff this morning because Spring in the midwestern U.S. has been getting hit with a cold wave.  Snow flurries in the air today.

Psych Doc ups Depakote

March 27, 2007

O.K.  I got a little irritable over the weekend.  No ranting and raving, though.  Still, the psych doc wants to up my Depakote ER by another 500 ms.  I have been taking 1000 mg.

The doc thinks she will be able to lower my Zoloft a little during our next visit in April.

Overall, I’m feeling pretty good.  

I did get a little depressed last evening over disgust that my regular m.d. can’t get my blood pressure down. 

Life in the Bipolar Lane

March 26, 2007

Not quite two montsh on Depakote and life remains good.  I’ve had a few ups and downs along the way, but nothing like I was having without the medication.   Is this to be expected with Bipolar? 

When do you sense a crash is coming on?  Will it be gradual or bang?  I’m new to this world.  Help me out, please.

   Pollen Sucks.

   In my neck of the woods, Spring has sprung and everything is beginning to bloom.  Every morning I wake up with my nose running.  For a person with chronic health problems that really sucks!

    I go to bed with my nose congested.  Makes life hard when you have sleep apnea and you depend on a cpap machine for sound sleep.   Sleep, or the lack of it, is one of my triggers in by rapid cycling of my atypical bipolar disorder.  

    In addtion, if I don’t sleep there’s not only bipolar, but the fybromyalgia flares up. 

    I can’t seem to find any over the counter antihistamines that won’t collide with my other meds.

   

Hit Bottom and Bounced

March 19, 2007

   I know to expect odd times with manic depression and in particular, rapid-cycling after going on the proper meds.  Yesterday was one of those days.  The odd thing about the depression part of it, I didn’t hit rock bottom as I’ve done the last few years.  It was like a soft bounce to the a different blow and then back up again.  Has anyone ever experienced that before? 

    I’m finding my obsessive-compulsiveness is an obvious trigger in my moods.  Again, it appears Zoloft and Depakote are my rescuers at this point.

  My wife asked me the other day how I had survived the last four years.  As I’ve mentioned before, my flight in life broke up in mid-air when a tornado picked up a truck I was driving in May 2003.  The PTSD that caused, plus, other gruesome sights I saw on my job after that, changed my life forever.

So, how did I survive the mood swings (mostly gutter wrenching lows), PTSD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and surive?  I refer to it as just getting by day-by-day.  My mission from the time I got up in the morning (if I got out of bed at all) was to to slowly take whatever the day offered until It was time to go to bed.

I worked three of the four years until everything crumbled one last time.  After that, it involved watching a lot of television, and enduring many dark thoughts and lonely hours, along with not wanting to go any where or deal with any body.

It took the proper diagnosis from my psychiatric team to pinpoint my exact problems.  I can’t say enough good about them. 

I know work is out of the picture ever again.   My life has to be refocused on the time I have left in this world and enjoy it with my family.

Yeah, I’ve already had a few down days, but for me this Depakote has been amazing.  That added with Zoloft (ocd) and Lunesta for sleep, I’m seeing more sunshine in my life–not those black days.

Life is Wonderful

March 13, 2007

The ol’ blood pressure is not where it needs to be.  If it isn’t lower by Monday the doc plans to increase the medication for that. 

When I started taking Depakote, the pharmacy said not to take Mobic any more for my fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis.  The doc has told me to continue to take it pointing out that the small risk is nothing compared to the greater good it will bring me.

Back in for another blood draw this morning, the first since I’ve been taking Depakote ER. We’ll see how that turns out in a few days.

I’m still feeling great mentally with no rapid cycling.   No problems with PTSD in the way of any flashbacks.  That was the big trigger for setting off the Bipolar phases.  The OCD seems under control with the Zoloft. 

My wife continues to say, “Welcome Back!”  T

It appears my blood pressure may be under control after being 165/100 most of last week.  With added medication, it was down to 130/80 Saturday. 

Mood-wise I’ve been feeling great.  Physically it has not been the greatest.  The doc took me off Mobic for the fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis because of it not mixing well with Depakote.

I go to my family physician today and hopefully she will be able to prescibe something new. 

My wife has noticed a major change in how I act.   She keeps saying, “welcome back.”  It has been a long four years since the derailment of my life because of Post Traumtic Stress Disorder.  I just kept getting more depressed and it was a struggle for me to get through the day.  I was having “ups” but they were happening in short bursts and always seemed to result in me sinking to a new low.  

I now believe I’m on the right path….giving life a whole new meaning! 

  I’ve been on Depakote ER for 15 days.  My wife says I’m back to normal (whatever that means).

  My bouts with depression  up until 2003 were never severe or did they take away from ability to earn a living.  But everything changed when a tornado lifted my vehicle off the ground.  I was diagnosed with PTSD and never recovered.  Emotionally, I was in quick sand and going under.  My ability to work ceased.  My body hurt from Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatique.

  My family doctor was treating my depression and working with a psychologist.  It wasn’t until a visit with a practing psychiatric nurse led to the Bipolar Disorder–Atypical diagnosis.  She had me on Zoloft for the OC and added the depakote.   As I mentioned earlier, my life has changed for the better.

      Still, I’m afraid to come out of the closet on my diagnosis.  My psychiatric nurse says 50-percent of the people already have you classified when you say BP.  The other 50-percent won’t understand or accept it.  To me, that means I’m screwed. 

Hi.  I received the shock of my life last week.  In my early 50’s, I was diagnosed with Atypical Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.